no more patching up nor so called breaking up

well, stating this few months of study i saw a girl name Joey.i knew her because we were grouped for the orientation program.first i saw her, just an ordinary girl just the body kind da like the branch of the tree. that explain why we started to call her tree.as time going on, i found that she is quite a good girl,always do homework bot like me.haha.she is serious.then i started to go on and get her number and sending sms. the first day, i didnt sleep, because i scare i will over slept and forget to make a breakfast.actually that is a simple breakfast. just 'involves' bread and eggs and also some sugar with butter.

then continue with treat her an ice -cream and promised her that i will buy many many things to her when i got work....

thought the sweet days started come but it isnt what i thought ....it`s actually what people call nightmare. i thought she react like this is kind la giving me a chance but it not.maybe she`s just perfunctory onto me....

i`ve been so stupid and letting them take advantage on me for years..but when facing this kind of stuff also being fool.

now is the same anymore, i`m not the one who evades from her (i used to be,but now not) anymore, she is the one who evading from me.

everytime i call her, she also pretending didnt hear and go away. almost everytime she saw me, also pretending didnt. i dont like this ok..lets be friend again...for me, i will just put the so called love down and concentrate on my study...

pissed off

so soon the holidays end. the time was so perfect to study but i`m not the one who is doing it.haha, do revision might be is the only reason i cheated her...or perhaps this is not the reason because i really planned to do.....unfortunately i didnt....this would be just the laziness

if i insist to do it, i`m very sure that my studies would be better....

argh.............so pissed off today.

i told them to do the painting first but they didnt......what the fuck are they doing?

playing games? gossiping around or trying to patch up someone? i really dont know.what i know is, if they really took the initiative, sure they will do without me.does the chairman really important? why cant u all do first?

you are so dependant.........when are you going to learn independant?

hello, you all are already grown up. if i just keep shooting at you, sure u all will think i`m crazy la. for sure i know that really hurt you but did you think about me? i`m the one who went to get those stupid taiwan grass? only know asking,dont know do.........

i`m soon going to collapse do you know?

time is gold, just thinking what to do but no action is not something what i want!!

i want TEAMWORK! TEAMWORK!

LIFE IS NOT SUCKS AS YOU THOUGHT,DEPENDS HOW YOU MAKE IT!!

so sweet.....haha

the other day i stepped out the first step.hahaa dont know whether being accepted or not but i know as long as she didnt reject me i`ll stick to it.

hmm this is the first time i went into this kind situation, becasue i dont have any experience.so i dont know what to do.....and while i was doing homework i figured out what about give a suprised to her so i did a bread with some eat on it and thought might can share togather but unfortunately,she refused maybe it`s too suprised...then second day went to buy curry rice for her at 5.30 in the mornig, because at this time i already wake up. so i messaged her about the rice but she said she dont want eat because she got bring bread so i just share with my friend in the school.she just ate one char siew pau nia leh.........then i brought sweet instead of curry rice lo...

then in the afternoon we went out and bought the ice cream............

the day was so sweet...hope i can savour these moments as i still can

up to 18 u have to settle everything by ur own hands

quite sad de lately discover something that it shouldnt be in the place.why, why? sometimes i think, y i can happenned to me but not other and y am i choosen to be like this ? an obstacle or what?

when something is up, dont think u can get other people help . they wont. even though is ur brother or what. u have to settled it down by urself he said. sometimes there is something we have to share with ur closest one hope he or she can relax u down or doing something that makes u not that panic.but right now i`m really like panic at the disco.haizzzz waht kind if brother i have right now? when he has a good mood maybe he will share everything with u but when he is not in the mood, everything u ask he will just ignore. thought i`m 18 enough can handle everything meh? if i can choose i will choose to work first. then only study.i where got financial support? u also never try to understand how tough i`m going through along this. and i guess no else will know. as a brother u also not doing ur job la. everytime i also settled by myself de la. i know. independant ma. since standard 4 i already started . i cooked for the family. u did? nope u just eat.haizzz no where else to express this kind of feeling.i wish now i have a big tree whole that will listen to me. well without ur help i also can figure it out and settle by myself de!

friday

haha,today also supposed to go to school study but we skipped the class and give ourselves a holiday again. argh, schooling days are so boring.somemore need watch the stupid movie 'paloh' also dont know is what movie lai de.better learning than go watch movie la.the new headmistress is really crazy.so we all decided truant lo.i was so relaxed haha 2days insomnia couldnt sleep properly makes and it drives me crazy in the school.whole day no mood to study . but luckily few teachers of subjects were not around. and something did change in the school especially among the friends. maybe today we are friends or best friend but 2morow we might be far apart or starting to forget u . quite sad for this kind of changes.

holidays end

haha the holidays supposed end on yesterday but today we give ourself one more day to enjoy the day.samething again....i slept until 2. guess what at 7 i really woke up and went to the front door and check out the day. and at 7.30 a big rain falls.whoah....it`s really big and then thunder sound like a blomming flower.and by the same time i also enjoy the raindrop sound like when i was small. really long time never like this before. after went into secondary life changed. so tired and even a little thing also cant savour.what a pity life. ...well life is like that if urself is not working on it, who else is going to help u instead of u? i think if yesterday really go to school,maybe the teacher will teach and not really do celebration.oh my goodness..........guess what it`s maths class again tomorrow..gosh winder who creates maths...maths sucks. it makes me even more complicated when these calculation turns here turns there.hard to memorise.and again my maths work hasnt done yet..think tomorrow he sure will ask me again....lolzz

Bcoz promising him that i will finish it on time and send on the day start school.....

hmmm.....not going waste time here la...better start the work again.