i never like this before

been a rough week i struggling  and finally i`m home
i have never been like this so wanting to go home
i`m not a type like to stay at home
but i changed.
now i like to go home because home is the most comfortable place.
i like see my parents and grandma
i love them alot
especially my grandma
i keep crying for her
for everything she did to me
for time she care me when i was small
she is so precious
i dont want to lose her
i love her very much
i hope the day not coming so fast
i still want to stay with her
i dont want to apart from her
i just dont want to.
can we reverse the time?
i wish i could
i wish to get back to childhood
so that i can spend time with her
stay with her
and cook for me when i get back from school.
i just back from her place and i wanted to hug her
because i keep crying
but she didnt see because i was in the room
i really want to tell her that i miss her alot
and i can even stop thinking of her for a single minute
but i dont have the courage,
shame of myself
i cant imagine if i lost her one day
i cant
i really love u grandma.