found work and gonna be a worker by tomorrow

have been searching for jobs recently
but all jobs are from the same company.
all those i expect i can get but rejected
and the one i dont feel like getting being granted

today gonna leave home and go to work
and today is the tong zhi, i have been 3 years not celebrating with family.
and will be the 2nd year of not celebrating CNY too.

feel nothing until now,
faced alot of problems
and now nothing can scare me already.
those working experiences really enriched me
what to deal what not to be deal already in my mind

am i gonna be working for long term?
i have no idea.
i really have no idea
no one knows whats gonna happen tomorrow also

i would said that as faith
let faith destine me

i think that`s all from me.
nite everyone.
missing u
be glad to know some of the friends that are going be apart soon too

suicide

actually why people want to suicide?
threatening people?
trying to ask for sympathy?
or what?
this has totally become a trend recently.

recently have seen alot of suicide cases.
all about the love stuff
come on, be mature abit can u?
suicide doesnt give u what u want but give something the people who loves u dont want

if u really suicide, and the things or person u want really want to back to u
do u still have the live to enjoy?
i would say definitely no.

if u are tying to suicide
i would call u as imbecile! stupid!

many people want to stay alive and they just cant due to diseases
and u just waste urs like that?
dont you feel sorry for ur parents?
they hope you to accompany them until they are old
sharing ur stories or their stories
and u just gonna miss all those savoury moment just like that

i`m not gonna pay pity or respect to u.
because u really dont have the brain to think
and thinking harming urself can others feel bad
idiot! life goes on and clock still moving
this is gonna be forgot by people about ur existence or what u did

if i would do something great and being recorded or memorised by people for few decades would be enough for me.  

Finally

all come to the end
the end of another study life
the end of school life
the end of laughing
many things seem to be done

finally, the hard year about 1 and half already past
dont have to be in the school anymore
nothing better than staying home shaking legs

no need wake up early and prepare myself anymore

but still need move on to the second stage
the sosial part.
WORK

well dont talk about work first.
let hold that until i really start my working

today or yesterday, i got up at 7.45
omg, i was like hell no....
i`m gonna late for my 8 am exam paper

so i 'jumped' into the uniform and drive the car and head to the school
i was so blur well just get up
u cant expect something better
and the paper so hard , my stomach is twisting
hell no, i`m in pain!

then paper ended. had photo session
lunch,
met lot of friends and uncle
had chat
had fun
and just had the steamboat as dinner and supper
i`m kinda like this kind of gathering.
it was like the bon voyage to someone

bir big liar

actually i pretty hate liar.
it was like they like dont respect u
or equivalent to insulting

making empty promises are they best
they make eveything sounds promising
but lastly , it`s empty

the reason for someone to lie are:
-they just dont want to face u anymore or
-they sick of answering u
-dont want reply ur message
-they`re in hurry
-they`re on something
-they just want to make u feel comfort
..................................................
............
they are alot , depends how the person did and their righteousnesses or maybe wisdom


i had one coming, saying will do something for me when the pc is free but well since it`s midnight so perhaps everyone should be sleeping than doing something out of the 'working hour'

well, i saw him online the next day at 8 am . and didnt do waht i ask. how pathetic?

so what now?

so u can fuck me why i cant fuck u back?
yea, i purposely did that
so?
any problem with that?
saying u strees,
i dont feel the same is it?
like the world is only focus on u isnt it?

you are the one should fuck off.
i`m already not feeling good
and u make that as a compliment?

i should see this coming.
so what, if i did wrong?
are u a saint or sages?
u never wrong?

oh yea, u never
because for u
whatever u did has a reason
even it`s wrong

and i`ve totally make a decision.
i deleted u.
sounds good to me. because i dont have to see u anymore

i dont need pity from people
i can stand by my own!

i dont know what`s going on between u and that girl,
and i dont want to know also.

u jerk.

i totally dont mind loon correcting me because i really got the wrong one
and i`m am who i am. if u laughing at me is so rude! encourage is what i need
i dont need laugh for my mistake.

now only i know, the person i close to is the one who most hurt me.

saw something really annoyed me

i dont even know what u guy have changed
for good or bad?
for urself or just to others
omg,

fine, as i mentioned before
i`m not interested
it`s just nothing

maybe i`m the abandoned one since after all

those words are really just the empty promises

i`m just stupid enough and believe.
yeah i`m stupid

i thought u`ll be good to me
but it`s not

well, whatever happen
i`ll just move forward
and time still moving.
i got nothing to lose actually
my pride remains.

well, i just cant stand alone here.

yes, i`m completely hate u now

no more chances for u anymore
guess u also dont want it idiot

nice isnt it?
ok.

very supportive in that.
when doing all those superb idiot thing
especially doing those insulting ppl

yes i`m totally believe into the wrong guy
u are just the jerky one

idiot!!
imbecile! fuck off!!

yes i`m not having good base of chemistry!
so what?
does it ring a bell?
not really.

aww.....thought u might change or what
u will never be.

god, why are u letting an idiot with me?
fuck him!

idiot~
saying what belief in what spiritual truth?
stop act like u will
because u will never!
reincarnation ?
back here and get shit back?
how awful u are!
i might shit on ur face if u want some!

now i really got into this problem
i saw a man with faces!
yes u are.

we are so done now.

Pasar Malam

yea, it`s 9th of the month and we are having small little night market in the town
i was called by Tony. how lovely that, asking me out

yet, there are still exist a gap between us.
and yes, we didnt talk.
it`s still the same

feel like kinda want to do something to repair
but lastly i think it wont work
it just doesnt.

well can this call mate?
not really,
really want to help ppl?
no really also
because
he didnt ask.
yes i know what he would say if i ask why not asking
the answer gonna like, if u want it u come over. y i must begging u？

kinda answer like i will get,

having discussion at lau pei pa there
and having kfc
also didnt ask

well  cant really blame u because u are not me.
always ask people if want to join

and now, sleepover at ppl place
but using me as excuse?
come on!

not interested la.
do what u want la.
i`ll be myself.

guess, growing older
doesnt give a sense of happiness
alot of burden has been piling up behind me
it just so heavy.

it`s not something like give and take but is
sacrifice something and u get something back

it`s always like that,
well, looks like i got to let go something.

Had a nice day with friends

ya ya ya, been calling out for the gathering
thought of not going out because dont want to see someone that i dont like
but lastly after i have cleaned up my super messy room
i sms them asking where are they and non of them are replying
then i thought maybe they just dont want me be there so no reply me
well, after i had my bath i received smses from them asking me to come out faster
so, after i clothed so i went out
and found that the main another pal still missing
i thought he will be here
then only i know that he`s at KL
luckily i went out at 10 pm while they were there at 9.
we waited till 12 am the next day a
i was sitting at the corner where no one sitting opposite of me.
so i was sitting there and listen to the story on the other end
i was sitting next to Francis
and i think we havent been talking for some time and our relationship kinda broken
so i started a talk with him and end up, quite good.
we been talking all the time discussing about study and the routine.
i dont know im the one who bragging or he really a good listener
i changed my perspective about him
he really changed alot after since some problem happened

finally at 12 am Kelvin is here
oh still the same looking smart with a cap on it.
and he`s ordering fried maggi with two eggs in it.
he was complained that he`s not full yet with the dinner
he really a eater, but the body still remain same
guess their gene are different
haha, the portion we eat will be the same as our body size
hmm, i also had a nice talk to Kelvin.
the only common we have is watching those comedy tv show.
Actually i`m quite envy him because got such good result in Matrix as 4 flat
and getting JPA scholarship for his study
marvelous!
i hope i can do the same, those grey`s really inspire me,
but after i had a thought and i think i cant really handle that much
and if i want to take private Uni 400 k will be needed
and i know i`m not affordable for that

he`s still the same, exaggerating.
when people saying it`s hard
he kept saying work hard work hard,
well, actually at this part i really dont really know how to explain
guess for those who experienced this can give a better answer.

yeah, leaving at about 3 and went to 7-11 to mess them up with looking at the condoms.
haha, the workers asking whether we know what it`s for.
and i said it`s bubble gum
reached home 3.30 and straight head to sleep.
the next day sleep almost 20 hours. haha


yes, we had no conversation that day.

yeah

have done another paper.
hopefully can score well for this paper as it`s the only paper that i`m confident

shit! man again, i slept at 4 while i`m already on bed since 1.
it keep coming to me , keep coming across my mind
see, i should be there at the 1st place.
it just makes me worse

when i have problem
who is gonna stand by me?

u?
i did

i have totally forget about this matter for a month
and now it`s coming back again
FUCK!
i`m sick of it

my mood is ruined!

i know everything from ur gestures.
like u said
i`m a good observant.

am i crazy?

I was being asked am I crazy?
haha yes, I walked home for second time.
but I don’t think im crazy

Reason?
because I don’t want to stay there at the first point.
and I was there because of him, as a company

This is just me, 

and actually walking back,
enjoying the music, wind, scene
I feel much more better.

This is kind of soothing process
really.

I`m not ready for the second time and I don’t really want for this friendship.
maybe u might say im silly,
well, it`s just ur opinion.

I don’t like stay in the place with the people I don’t like .
that it.
and u know about that too.

I don’t like hiding, hiding makes me worse.

And someone offered me ride also.
but I refused.

Well well well….maybe now u are saying me nerd or nuts or whatsoever.

Nah, used to it. they don’t work on me.

i think i`m fine for now

i`m getting better after been 'cut' and i took some time to heal it.

when the wound already recovered, it wont happen for the second time anymore

been giving myself a break, went to some places at the north.

have seen alot and worked alot.

it`s fascinating that the people in Kedah and Perlis dont really have to buy fish

they just fish in the pond or the drain.

you can see the people there are fishing during noon

not only the young but also the old .

i was tired so i didnt get a picture.

wow the first day was really exhausted,

didnt sleep at all the day before and had a cup of milo and a pau and worked for 12 hours non stop since 4 am

at 8 pm only get a chance to have a very first proper dinner.

i had a nasi paprik

but it doesnt look so good because the food is not cover with gravy but is oil!

now i know why the cook so fat!

they thought the oil is the gravy!

then head to Federal Hotel to have a sleep

hmm...rm80+ 5% tax.

not so bad.

new furnished and equipped with astro channel , air cond, and a heater and that`s what i want

after had a hard day, take a hot shower and feel much more relax

after shower, went to walk

found out that the shop almost all closed at 9 something.

found two shops still operating which is a family run business

bought a bread and 2 tins of 100 plus

and head back to the hotel.

the wind was awesome!

so nice being blown, haha

at 9.30 i think i cant stand anymore felt so sleepy but Phua Chu Kang is showing

so after i finished then i sleep.

at 4 woke up and take a slip on 100plus then head to sleep again.

that`s me, once woke up in the middle a sweet drink will be needed

sleep till 7.30 got to wake up already

need to work at 8.

there serene view from perlis really feel good.

looking at the paddy field that u cant cant imagine how big it is

and the green colour from the plant.

it was AWESOME!

i wished i could spend some time at there.

i think the wound has completely recovered at this trip.

if u want back again, sorry, the door has been shut.

These are the school that quipped with MPV equipment, 

yea, these machines are sent by us

The Federal Hotel. the place i had a night. it`s much more better than my working hostel and the accommodation rate is cheaper also.

The Paddy

somewhere near Kangar.

nice mosque, but dont have chance to take picture so just snapped

Gunung Jeriang-know from the sign board

this girl is driving with an open end. haha

haiz, didnt shoot her when she close it. well cant really blame me, she is a pretty girl. i just cant take my eyes of her. haha

it`s the river. forget already dont know is butterworth or where

 perak now. it` the yty cement factory

 view when coming down from the 'terowong'

 haha., that`s my rohto v arctic.
just ordered it before i depart and got it when i`m home
really can feel the cooling effect when u drop it.

This Quote is one of my favourite.

有相聚，就有離別，人生的百轉千迴中，一直佈滿了一個又一個車站。我們都是旅人，既然要去的終站是不一樣的，只好在這裡分手。抹乾眼淚，我走我的路，如果 你曾是那麼值得愛，我會永遠懷念你，謝謝你陪我走一程。如果你不值得，我會把你抖落，當作從來沒有認識你，你是我年少無知所犯下的最愚蠢的錯誤。

Here i got something i want to share with U and for me the 11th is very true

1、如果發簡訊給一個人，他一直不回，不要再發了。沒有這麼卑微的等待。

2、如果沒有人陪，學著一個人聽音樂看書寫點心情日記。這是個好習慣。

3、如果一個人很難過，找個角落或者在被子裏哭一下，不需要別人同情可憐，哭過之後一樣開心生活。

4、如果一個人開始怠慢你，請你離開他。不懂珍惜你的人不要為之不舍，更不必繼續付出你的友情或愛情，到頭來受傷的是自己，他人不會為之難過。

5、如果可以不抽煙，別抽。如果可以不喝酒，別喝。這是不愛惜自己身體的表現，如果只因一些人，那麼我們別傻了，愛你的人不會讓你難過的。

6、傷心的時候找個信任的朋友訴說一下，不要一個人默默承受，這只會會更添寂寞感與憂傷。

7、不開心的時候白天看看藍天晚上看看夜色，廣闊的天空自有屬於我們愛，寧可高傲的發黴不要低調的戀愛。跟自己說我是最好的，保持一份自信。

8、寧缺毋濫。不要因為寂寞隨手抓一個戀人，這對兩人都不公平，而且太缺乏責任感。找個知己不要是戀人。

寧缺毋濫（nìng quē wú làn) - 意思为:宁愿没有 也不要随便找一个充数 

9、記住你喜歡的人的生日，包括你的家人，當然，還有自己。生日沒有人送禮物也無所謂，你可以買精美的禮物，送給媽媽和爸爸。

10、閑下來的時候，放一段柔情音樂，翻閱幾頁好書，然後睡個懶覺，快哉。心情不好的時候，也可以睡一覺。

11、從現在開始，聰明一點，不要問別人想不想你？愛不愛你？若是要想你或者愛你自然會對你說，但是從你的嘴裏說出來，別人會很驕傲和不在乎你。

12、不要太在意一些人太在乎一些事，順其自然以最佳心態面對。因為這世界就是這麼不公平往往在最在乎的事物面前我們最沒有價值。

13、不要為了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃飯、哭泣、自閉、抑鬱，這些都是傻瓜才做的事。當然，偶爾傻一下有必要，人生不必時時聰明。

14、任何情況下，背後不說他人是非。如果你一定要說，說好話。多個朋友是好事，即使不是很要好的，總比因為自己說話不慎重不思考而多一個敵人好得多。

15、允許偶爾看肥皂劇，但不可成為依賴。允許偶爾披頭散髮，但要注重場合。允許偶爾罵髒話，但只限在老友面前或者獨自一人時，說過後記得要忘掉那些讓你難過的事。

16、一定要有幾個異性朋友，沒有非分之想，就是關鍵時候，能幫你出出主意的好友。

17、學會承受痛苦自己調整心態。有些話，適合爛在心裏，有些痛苦，適合無聲無息的忘記。當經歷過，你成長了，自己知道就好。很多改變，不需要你自己說，別人會看得到。

18、能不和人爭吵儘量避免。一個發怒的人是很恐怖的，會因控制不了情緒變成瘋子。忍耐然後思索問題的根源最後平靜心態解決它。

19、不管和誰有了矛盾和彆扭，解決的時間不要超過24小時。否則麻煩會更多。在可以接受的範圍內，先道歉。有時候做壞人不是件真的壞事。=D

p/s share from people. if u like it share it too!

it`s Sunday

it`s 11.32 in the evening. half hour more will turn to 12 which is monday.
i didnt do anything yet i did study but i keep getting myself distracted with food and making fun of myself
knowing the exam is coming on the 1Dec but still cant get myself in the mood.
i have no idea what had happened to me.....
i have no idea why i went to the town to buy a biscuit while i dont have to.
i can just finish the Milo without it.....yet i went to town  and it`s raining out there ^^
guess i really trying good to distract myself.
i feel nothing about this exam.
though it`s the most important in the life.
so many disappointments have came up
those really making me sad and screwed me up!

i dont know how`s others are doing because i didnt sms them or call them
and i dont think i gonna to do it because i`m afraid of disturbing them,
they are good, not like me.
my phone has been staying silent for almost a month
no one call or sms.
Except i`m the one who telling the tips for the exam.

i hope they are doing good!
here i pray for u all.
wish u all the best, score with flying colours.

oh...what a shame. i`m still a crap!
Shame- Robbie williams & Garry.
I loving it

hmm

haha... finished 2 papers yet not feeling good. because i havent done my best. the first paper i think i got the confident but when it comes to the paper 1 i dont know i got the courage to finish or not. i quite require memory power. again this is saturday i`m still waiting for my interviewer to confirm something for me. i have dipped into movies and into my dream yesterday. i realise that all are just a dream. we cant do anything but except effort. yet, we are here, a place where much changes need to be done. i really want to be like grey`s anatomy . they are awesome. i failed the my physics. i really stupid! it`s too late to regret, and no one to be blamed.

dissappointed

haiz, thought got a fine job already can secure me de...but what the hell has just happened.
have planned alot of things and now really end up like what susan boyler.....i dreamed a dream.
all ruined....

sky is raining. guess it`s for me.

hihih

hi, i`m back again. hmm...been quite active lately in blogging....haha
been giving myself some timeout and figuring something seriously
i found out that, i was thinking too much,
who cares, people will care or love me or not!
it`s not a problem! btw...they dont cost a cent either.

finally, i found myself a goal. that i wanted to do all the time
i was distracted by many things.
and now i`m up for something really goona be something totally new for me
is......i want to take business and admin...and i want to get a MBA

come on...fail STPM doesnt kill you!
the government also wont give u a damn  also
take alternative!

Unfortunately, Life is very short. Don’t waste your time and try to make the most of every opportunity. Do what you want to do and enjoy life! - this is from Thomas Price!


oh god i love him very much! damn handsome and he got the height that i want!
he really inspire me a lot. he did or do....alot of things that he likes...like D-jing, basketball, football, graffiti, movies, ads...and many many more....and he is taking masters in Australia! he can, why not me?

what was it?

It was the middle of the night. And I cant sleep.
it was a silly thought that, I don’t even deserve a MISS
I`m just the ordinary person doing ordinary thing so do others
why I don’t deserve?
while the rest are better than me?
if comparing with the academic result. Yes they are but some

I know you are in stress.
do you know i`m also?
selfish is my first thought
you only said you are the one having stress.
so for you others like me don’t have to ?

After what I have done,
there are no ransom to be paid.

Move forward don’t care what they said,
you are living for yourself.
again not for others.

 I think I have The Neuropsychopharmacology of Personality Disorders.
Give me some Amphetamine ^^

Isnt that contradicts?

I think I just thought so much of nonsense la. Actually all are not connected but I just connect them .it`s just a selfish thinking of mine. Argh…. Feel so good now, because of that. What has past. Really gone. What to do reminiscence back something that make you feel bad? It has nothing to do isn’t it. your life wont get high unless it`s a perfect savory moment. Just keep going , leave the past behind. And you will be a better person.
人之所以会心累/矛盾..就是常常徘徊在坚持和放弃之间..举棋不定..生活中总会有一些值得我们记忆的东西..也有一些必须要放弃的东西..放弃与坚持..是每个人面对人生问题的一种态度...

cheer up 

是谁带来这段苦带甜的路程？

感谢，感谢你带来的欢喜与爱乐。的却在你的身边，一定不会少一丝的安全感。缘分？它的定义有什么？是一种人与人之间无形的连结，是某种必然存在的相遇的机会和可能。就是它。但，缘已淡。

誓言？

真心或假意?

我不懂得分辨

或为了事情变得不糟

所编出来的谎言？

是否来之真心我不懂得

我很疲倦

我不想再分辨。

太好笑了我，竟然等待着那一封不会到来的讯息。

分分秒秒都在看手机

午觉也睡不好，都是你

你因该也睡得很好吧？

无暇的小孩。

果然活泼天真

我呢？

眼神带有沧桑

臭老

也许都是所发生一切的事情吧

逼我不得不早熟

看你应该也是没看的吧

算了吧

小生小小的心声

没人能了解

也没人会

愿意

这一切，

都让我觉得很渺小

这对你，

也许只不过

是件小事

一点都不紧张。

我都看得出，

因为你是自私的。

没时间管我死活

我并不是好友，

是损友。

这看法我已看到

但没想到

你真的会是那么无知。

选着是你的，

不是我定的

你不为了我而活，

是为了你自己。

对你我也许就不够好吧

他们才是最好

我与你都没有什么共同点

都不打电动

但我却放不下，

只希望这一切不曾发生

就像以前，

不熟不生

那该都好？

Faith?

Does faith really exist? Yea. I believe and it has brought joys and sad to me. It has brought me to someone. It has come to me few years back and it has gone. And now it has come again and I believe it`s gonna end soon. Because I think it has ended. I told u that because I still loving you. I told u about it. what did u respond? Haha….kinda funny also. U seem like nothings. That doesn’t look like a friend. If I tell others, i`m sure not only they will sms me and showing me how to get rid of it. I can think, not cant. And I need someone to calm me badly. They will also pretty sure will come up to me and checking out my status. You just don’t. you just sit that badly and ignore to talk to me. Why i`m the one always come to u? not u come to me? How come u can go find xxx xxxxx and sit with him and chat but not me? Yes. I`m totally jealous about that. Thinking back what I have done to you. Did he? No! how come he can be treated like that without any effort ? while I didn’t get anything. Everytime going to canteen, you will call him. Not me. And I that bad? Today I saw u in the canteen sitting there alone and eat. Y don’t ask me? I talked to you. And you just ignore me. Afternoon, the curtain stuff. you have never been doing this before. Yes u can do it. why don’t just let me see whether u did the right thing or not then only continue? Letting me see doesn’t hurt you isn’t ?what if u broken the fabric? (I don’t care the fabric broken or what. What important is U. if something has happened due to reckless, can u still repair or not?)This not only can apply on that curtain it can apply to many things also.  YES IT DID THAT. SO? IT`S STILL ME!!!  I didn’t change. Everytime u will be going to canteen with xxx xxxxx without asking me.

Another really important to me. U asked me to come over during that kinda down period. And soon u stop asking me to come over already because u finally already used to be alone. But did u think of me? I also used to be alone. Then since then ever I need a company already. But by that time u don’t need me anymore. What kind of service is like that? If you need me also at the time u want to gather some information about the TT. I gave u what u need and told u what should u do. And finally service ended. You no longer need it anymore.

Yet not finish, can you stop bring ur mood to school? And using that sourpuss face ? that is ur problem. U keep it and solve it when u are not with friends. Or you can just tell someone that u trust. When u using that face facing everyone u know what have u done or not? U just created a atmosphere which is not nice. Maybe that ur style. I`m just saying. U can say im a mother fucker.

Secrets? Yes I want to know it badly. Y cant let me know? What does it about? Y not? Even threatening u with that u also don’t care. Guess u are getting far from me. U no longer care me.you would just let me be and do that again. Haiz. U just couldn’t understand . what should I do? When I told u that u don’t understand and u said u are a shit! Hello, can you be mature abit or not? Blaming yourself is not a solution ok. And i`m really not cool with that. No one could humiliate themselves.

Since everything so complicated, I don’t want to continue anymore. I`m feeling bad for that also. I`m too tired of doing the run and stay thing. I just want to settle down. I`m the one first to talk during complication. U don’t talk because u don’t want things go worse isn’t it.what do you think.i`m just waiting you.. U say no then i`ll stop. If u say yes then I would say lets continue.

Learnt a lesson I think

Next time please don’t eat something that has been in the kitchen for more than 5 hours. The one I ate is about 10 hrs. and it`s the curry with the coconut milk which is the essence of making you sick. And what a potluck, I got sick the next day. I thought might don’t want to waste those food in fact that my parents ask me out to dinner and I refused! The next morning I woke up with some pain in the abdominal, I thought might be want to go toilet or just got some wind inside. When I got up, woa woa woa……feel like want to puke. And whole body shaking cold……OMG I must get sick…in the split second I thought It just last for a while. Hell know that, it lasts till now….been few days. The fever gone and the purging stuff also gone now only left the super duper gastric.!!!! It attacks me almost every second….i have no idea what to do with it…I hope I can get better by tomorrow….this is what I always said to myself but everyday is the same…the gastric came when I get to sleep or when I woke up by it. haiz……and i`m facing a MEMORY LOST!!!! Hell not…… how am I gonna to exam??????

Does it that easy?

Life is not easy. Not that calm and peace, not like coherent waves like-laser. The moment u at the top of the world , u will also remain stationary at the ground in the next second. Nothing is fixed, you wont get high and never get down. Even stocks also the same. It raises, u earn it. dropped? You lost. That`s it….nothing so matter….y feel so hard on that? When u are up high, u feel like u are surrounding by the people and friends. When u are down u felt like nothing. Like all your best friends have left u. actually they are not. They are always there for u. who said want to leave u? no one would. You are just too sweet to be abandoned. Sharing will only make u into a better person. No only allowing u alone to talk. No one wants that way either than i. being extremist is not wrong but just not the appropriate way. Yea, I don’t have the chance to critic about it. so? As long i`m free, i`m free to do anything I like. The same thing u practice doesn’t means it always right. Because only u think it is right. What if others also thinking the opposite? Does it already become a question mark for you to think that what u have been doing is  right or not? People doesn’t talk to you because they know u never will want to know about it and u don’t either bother pun. And that is so wrong because in that way u will never change. A risky stuff will make the one who loves u sad because perhaps one day an accident might turn into. No one knows the future ahead us. You are you . not others, u don’t know what are others doing or thinking. The pedal might be accidentally stepped. And what gonna happen? Even old hands also make mistakes. You might just upset those who really care you. Yes , u might never know this. Either u know or not, it`s gonna be a varnish because u don’t really realize the existence of it. no one will blame you for nothing, they are just saying . just want u be better. If u cant accept it. then just forget about it. perhaps the day will come later, then only u know. no one would like to point a gun to someone just to ask them to follow whatever he or she asks. Think about it. no one is forcing u.